How to Stop Losing Your S*** With Your Kids
How to Stop Losing Your S*** With Your Kids is a simple, accessible and humorous guide to more effective and mindful parenting.
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So, you’re losing your s*** with your kids. You snap, shout, and scream at them. You’re irritable and reactive more often than you’d like to admit. You know how you want to parent; you want to be calmer and more intentional. But no matter how hard you try, you keep losing it. Without knowing anything else about you or your family or your particular style of freak-out, I can tell you six truths that will help you feel less ashamed and more empowered to deal with your shit instead of losing it.
Six Truths About Parental S*** Loss
1.PARENTING IS HARD. It’s hard for everyone. No, really, every-one—even that Seemingly Perfect Parent, always in the front of thepickup line with her skinny soy latte and carefully vacuumed mini-van. Parenting is hard for a lot of different reasons, some of which have to do with you, some of which have to do with your kid, and some of which seem more closely aligned with the phases of the moon than anything down here on planet Earth.
2. EVERY PARENT LOSES THEIR S*** SOMETIMES. Some lose it more often, more loudly, or more publicly than others, but we all lose it. You are absolutely, positively, without a single doubt not alone in this. The New York Times published an article a few years ago that described shouting as the new spanking and labeled us “a generation that yells.”
3. CONTRARY TO WHAT YOU MAY THINK, YOU PROBABLY HAVEN’T BROKEN YOUR CHILDREN. Don’t get me wrong; your meltdowns are not good for them or you or anybody. But you already know that. What you may not know is that humans are more resilient than we give ourselves credit for; many of us were raised by s***-losers and have grown up to be functional, productive members of society with only mild to moderate Ben & Jerry addictions. This means you can let go of some of the guilt, stress, and shame you’ve been hanging on to, and you probably don’t need to fully fund the kids’ therapy accounts just yet.
4. EVEN SO, LOSING YOUR S*** SUCKS. It’s exhausting and feels awful for everyone. It stresses out your kids, strains your relationship with them, and makes you doubt yourself and your parenting abilities. Your meltdowns use up precious time and energy without actually fixing the problem or preventing it from happening again, and they make it harder for you to be the kind of parent you want to be. To top it all off, you’re also modeling the very behavior you don’t want to see in your kids.
5. IT’S NOT A MATTER OF WILLPOWER. Many parents assume they should be able to just decide not to lose their s*** and then have the inner strength to grit their teeth and get through difficult moments without exploding. While some of us can do that some of the time, willpower isn’t as predictable or reliable as we’d like to think it is. So, if you feel like you’re not strong enough to hold it together, remember: it’s not about strength or willpower. It’s about under-standing what causes meltdowns, and having the skills and strategies to deal with them effectively.
6.YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO LOSE YOUR S*** A WHOLE LOT LESS OFTEN and how to recover more quickly when you do lose it. This isn’t going to happen overnight, and it will take some work onyour part, but as they say, the best things in life aren’t free and yourkids will probably break them anyway, so we’re not going for the best. We’re just going for better than what we have now.
Now is probably a pretty good time to mention that if you’re looking for a 100 percent Money-Back Guarantee that you will never ever lose your s*** again after reading this book, well, that ain’t gonna happen. The good news for you and me and the rest of us imperfect parents trying to raise slightly less imperfect children is that you don’t have to be the Dalai Mama in order to be more intentional and less insane with your kids. That having been said, every time you man-age to stay calm instead of freaking out, you create space to respond thoughtfully and parent the way you want to—however that looks for you and your family.
Carry on reading here. You can purchase your book here.